Lots to Appreciate

Grab your balloons, go buy some fireworks, run to your nearest florist to pick up a spring bouquet, and then head over to your nearest military wife’s house and celebrate National Military Spouse Appreciation Day today.  Not trying to boast, but there’s a lot to appreciate about a military wife.

They have an inner strength and resolve that is unmatched, even in their soldiers.  Soldiers get months of training to go into battle: they have basic training, field exercises all throughout the year, and commanders to lead them, but there’s no course or pamphlet they hand out when these women are standing at the altar with a man in uniform. 

No one instructs them on how to say goodbye to their family and friends every two to three years, or their husband for months at a time. No one gives them instructions on how to get pen ink out of camouflaged pockets or red clay off of tan boots.  There is not a YouTube instructional video on birthing a baby alone while someone holds their phone so their husband can see his new child from the other side of the world.  No advice for how to stand strong when someone is handing you a folded flag in front of a coffin.

These women have learned to be unintentional single mothers that help usher their kids into new schools after another summer PCS move and pour extra love on those same kids when Dad isn’t home for bedtime.  These women continuously have to adjust their jobs to their new locations yet still manage to thrive because of the hard work and dedication they put into their careers each day.  These women complete degrees while watching their husband pack his ruck again and stay up late writing papers while waiting on another text from halfway around the world. While their husband’s work long hours and are often away, these women find the inner resolve and fortitude to not only be great wives, but amazing women within the community.

And personally, the most important facet of the military wife life that I so appreciate, is the friends that quickly become family when your own family is a three hour plane ride away.  You build a team of people that cheer you on and encourage you when your husband is unable to.  You celebrate each other’s birthdays and anniversaries and new jobs with as much excitement as if the same blood ran through your veins.  These women will come over in pajamas with wine and let you weep and then remind you of your own strength and that you are not alone in this marathon race to the finish line.  Each time you move, you find new friends and celebrate with the old ones that you once again find yourselves crossing paths with.  These women become your lifeline in a life that so often has choppy waters.

I can tell you from personal experience that I have never seen strength like I have in the community of Army wives, Air Force wives, Navy wives, Marine wives, and Coast Guard wives that I have a privilege to call my sisters every day. 

Go find one and give them a hug….it may have been a long time since they’ve had one.

Someone handed me a baby and she is blessed to grow up surrounded by a whole host of military wives.

Life Goes On

My first night home after the Sir left, after a few days being wrapped up with love at my parents’ house, I only had one pervasive thought:

Why didn’t I hide all of his stuff?

His socks were next to the couch, his deodorant next to my sink.  My laundry hamper was filled with stinky PT clothes and his favorite hoodie that still needed to be washed.  His books on early Christianity were in my car and his last cigar butt from the night before he left was abandoned in an ashtray on the deck. His stuff surrounded me like a voice on a loudspeaker repeating over and over, “He’s not here and won’t be back anytime soon.”

Days fly by with all of the usual and Dragon keeps me on my toes.  Additionally adding the chores that are usually the Sir’s responsibility with (dishes, trash, dog poop hunting) makes the hours go by even more quickly.

But then night comes.  I wait up through the dark until the very last minute, hoping the Sir will be able to wish me good night from the other side of the world before he starts his morning.  Sometimes I hear, sometimes I don’t.  When I do, I often feel like my topics of conversation are too shallow for what may be our last conversation for the next month.  Shouldn’t we be talking about serious topics like global warming or how to teach Dragon how to be a good human, rather than the fact that I completed two loads of laundry? And the good-bye is always drawn out but never long enough, never knowing when I will hear from him again.

And then where I would normally expect sleep to come naturally after such a busy day, I lay awake listening for any sound that shouldn’t be there, which used to be the Sir’s job but I now have to take over. My brain goes into autopilot and nothing short of complete exhaustion will shut it down.

And when exhaustion finally pulls me under, my dreams are rarely dreams at all.

The next day begins, whether my sleep deprived brain is ready for it or not.  And each morning, I lift my prayers up to God that He will give me the strength needed to meet that new day.

For God handed me that baby, and He will watch over us both whether the Sir is here or not.